Being real friends-with-benefits requires the highest level of emotional honesty and communication in order to make the parameters of the relationship clear and avoid hurt feelings. Your point that advertising this on your profile may elicit creepy messages is not an irrelevant one, but I do think for maximum efficiency you should be pretty clear that you are looking for something casual because of your existing commitments. And you do want someone who is very sex-positive.
One option is to look for people with similar profiles to yours: If your tastes run to the kinky, you could also consider investigating in apps and sites that are more open about their focus on sex, such as Fetlife. Once you do decide to meet people, remember to take the same precautions that you would if you were dating for more romantic reasons: Dear Eva, I am 37, a single mom and am looking to find someone , but not a boyfriend.
Basically, I want someone to have sex with and not much else. Topics Dating Swipe right - online dating for the real world. Online dating Sex Tinder features. The two of you are already in a great relationship, and going further than that for the fun of it isn't the best idea. Not only can it jeopardize the friendship, but things can get awkward. If something happens in the midst of the NSA relationship, it can destroy your relationship.
So, never pick someone who's dearly close to you for the sake of your relationship. And it's possible that one of you may fall for the other and that's not where NSA relationships are supposed to head to.
Stick to just being friends. What will happen if you suddenly become pregnant or you suddenly get your partner pregnant? Remember, this isn't a committed relationship, so their responsibility isn't yours.
But if you do happen to get her pregnant, you both are now sharing the same problem. Make sure you and your partner are wearing protection when having sex. Birth control pills, condoms, etc.
Plus, since you don't know much about your NSA partner, you don't entirely know how many people they've slept with or sleeping with now. So, condom protection also protects you and your partner from getting any form of STD. And this means that you can be as selfish as you want in bed.
It's not a committed relationship, remember that. You're doing this to mutually gain and give pleasure. And don't be surprised if your partner is being needy, too. But this also doesn't mean to force something on them. If they're not willing to do something that you asked, never force. Set ground rules, agree on what can be done, and go with the flow! If you want her to use a different position and she agrees, that's great!
But if he's not into doing what you said, accept it and try something else. It doesn't hurt to ask. You only know this person for casual sex and nothing else. And this means don't be involved with their friends and family. Don't attend family gatherings and friend outings—you only know her for the sex. Plus, the majority of NSA relationships are kept on the low. No one really wants other people to know they're in that kind of relationship.
Don't get to know the person, avoid their friends and family, and simply gain pleasure from this person. Also, if any of his family members found out, who knows what might go down? Like I've mentioned before, there should be ground rules that the two of you set, both in bed and in the NSA relationship as a whole. When it comes to sex, know what the other person isn't into, what they love, and how to receive the same amount of satisfaction.
It's not a good NSA relationship if one person is getting the most pleasure out of it—it should be mutual. And setting rules can also go for the NSA relationship overall. Many people who are in an NSA relationship can all agree that neither of them should get to know the other in a personal way, meet anyone they know, or be someone close in their life.
Remember, an NSA relationship is simply having fun, casual sex; you're not their love interest. You don't want to get to know this person, because if the conversation gets too heavy, either one of you might develop feelings. So, once the fun sex is over, split ASAP. I know it sounds harsh, but in order to prevent catching feelings, this is a must. This means no cuddling after sex, no conversing before sex, nothing that involves really getting to know the other person.... Be selfish in bed, know less about the person, and only use them to give and receive pleasure. Lee, author of Love Styles in the R. Don't get to know the person, avoid their friends and family, and simply gain pleasure from this person. So, it's defeating the purpose if you're having sex with someone you once loved. And this means that you can be as selfish as you want in bed. The only thing the two of you are loyal to is giving and gaining pleasure.