Partly because I was terrified of losing her, but also because I wanted to see just how it would play out. Despite what my original misgivings, it turned out to be a smart decision.
Allowing her to see other guys gives you the space to see other girls. This means you go out, flirt and play, make out, muck around, and not even think twice about getting in trouble. It will also help you avoid getting needy. The fastest way to kill any potential relationship is to take all the tension out of it. Realising these insecurities and having them hit you in the face every time you see her means you have to confront them and deal with them, rather than running from them.
In fact, do the opposite. Download your FREE copy of Seduction Community Sucks now and get in-field videos, subscriber-only articles, and exclusive podcasts delivered directly to your inbox.
Seduction Community Sucks is your page kick-start to becoming the kind of Man that makes women go weak at the knees. Get your FREE copy , as well as access to other subscriber-only articles, podcasts, and video footage, now. These is dynamite Leigh!!! Just you could show us these point of view so explosive, crazy and true… I send you a big huges to all the guys here..
Once it has grounded perfectly then set boundaries and encourage her to have fun but not with other horny horses around. With productive, smart and positive people only. If you want to date around remain single and rather go for escorts, prostitutes, strippers etc. Not quite understand what you want to tell us. This is a good article and it is clear that all women must experience various relationships before marrying,. We are in the 20th century!
I was thinking about this exactly topic since a while. What you think about this? The hippies had it right. Free love, without trying to control and possess the other is so much lighter, freer, happier than this modern concept of airtight relationships, where the other person has zero room to breathe. Osho has a great talk about this on youtube where he basically says if you really love somebody, you give them total freedom. You give them privacy.
The world is in big need of change with the way people approach love and relationships. Do you have a link to that Osho video?
From my perspective prostitution is what most wives and girlfriends partake in without realizing. He is completely right. If someone is into you, telling them to date others is a slap in the face and very wrong.
I feel sorry for you that you think anybody would need to do this. Multi dating is Neediness in itself. Are we not strong enough to go into a connection with out a back up? I disagree with this post. I find it as an excuse of trying to come up with a different approach to being polygamous indirectly.
If you want a woman to keep seeing other males players, womanisers, man stealers who could potentially take your woman for a ride, follow this post! A bit of insecurity can secure your relationship, no insecurity at all can make your relationship insecurity and exposured to the public for manipulation. I completely agree, this sickens me. I guess those who have morals are falling quickly behind the ignorance of this mad world.
Thoughts like this are why America is becoming a corrupted lesion on the face of the Earth. Sin begets eternal death. I broke up with my GF a month ago or so because I was not comfortable with the relationship anymore. She was really hurt about that because she was really into me but she was not giving me space to live my life. News from the field…so, I shared this article on my facebook.
And received a response from a very perceptive chick. It seems to be saying: If this is the case, then the next question is: If what you are seeking is safety and security BEFORE you can feel intimate with someone, then this article may just piss you off or seem like a bunch of selfish, bullshit.
What does intimacy mean? It means sharing real desires and emotions with another. What if instead of waiting until I feel secure in the relationship before I let out the REAL me, I let out the real me all the time in all my relationships?
Would I still feel the need to seek exclusivity, that is, to make this one and only person responsible for my sense of security? Why should I burden her with this responsibility, which, ultimately she is doomed to fulfill because only I am responsible for how I feel and how I engage my world? And when you do as Leigh suggests, it has the effect of preempting any ideas of exclusivity or ownership or possessiveness.
Relationships are fixed, static, complete. You are now free to do just one thing: But if you keep labels and arbitrary rules out of it, you still strive to seduce one another, to inspire and elevate one another and make your lover shine. This is what dogs do actually. Dogs are not picky. This issue is not in the article and It ought to be. Men, I am not talking about randy boys, are picky and the ladies know, that they have better keep men interest otherwise men will kill the relationship and hunt for another equally hot babe.
Hunters take the best. Less picky people eats road kills. Men dates like Cheetah. Just because an average lady is on the loose and available does not mean men have to pull. Men hunts for shoal of ladies and do the romantic maths, narrow them to at least three and go for the kill. Failure is expected but the hit rate is good.
Here is the snag. Ladies are not complete idiots as some of us will have others believe. If you hunt like this, the ladies you get are worth their weight in gold, they too do not take nonsense.
It is up to you. Would you rather drive ten minis or an X Class? The beauty of it is, the only quality item on earth you can own without breaking bank is a quality woman. Look at it, to cure your neediness, we are told to date multiple ladies, dating multiple ladies happens to exposed the bane of relationships—insecurity.
Develop your mind, read wide and develop high taste. You have done it before, you can do it again and again and again so no rash manner, no insecurity that you lack class, parental love that you have to keep dogs like relationships to be The Man.
No, not at all. It is not what men do. Sure a Dog will let most anyone pet on him and scratch behind his ears hell he might even go play fetch but most Dogs know where home is…. Ever seen a cat that would fetch? Cats respond to receiving treats just like most women! Dogs come when they are called…if you love him he will usually be a friend for life…most of them know where the fence is and stay inside it…most of the time Bwaahaaahaaa….
I agree with the article fear based relationships suck! I believe in being honest and I believe in love. You just have to find them. Assuming it does work out good how do you know if you like one person more and want to spend more time? My girlfriends laugh because I keep saying I need to find one for myself.
I literally sat in a coffee shop today that was full of beautiful Asian men and just blushed into my book haha. I actually find them unapproachable and feel that the rejection from an Asian man would be the most serious sort of rejection. Overcoming the feeling associated with these insecurities: You have to become the kind of guy who can bring himself happiness, excitement and fulfillment independently of her.
He has to be selfish and give himself these things before he can give to anyone else. But I feel like there are more things we can do to confront and deal with these insecurities. What are your thoughts Leigh? There is an irony here on which any guy can contend. When you said that, somewhere, an alpha male is just someone who has complete conviction in what he is doing then it can be a person who has belief in monogamous relationship.
Same way if someone wants to sleep with many then its alright for him too? And why do we men fuss over women so much. Take each of them as they come. For some you might have to adjust a little, for others they will do the same.
In my opinion, if you wait for right circumstances to commit you will never be able to. This article might clear it up: This is hypocritical and stupid.
Essentially NONE, the only difference is that one behaves knowingly and the other one has his methods taught from an early age. Yes, early, mostly from the interaction between their mothers and fathers. What men with broken families, with no dads are supposed to do then? Spoken from a PUA with a life with single mom and having a girl of his dreams. This article makes total sense and all of those reasons are perfectly good reasons for engaging in open relationships.
However, I find that monogamous Did I say that right? We all desire freedom and joy and that can take the form of different things depending on what gives us that emotion, and that is the same with women and relationships. We are free to choose to sleep with multiple partners, one partner or none at all. For different guys, different things.
Monogamy, Polygamy, Origami…Who cares? Get happy then go for what feels right for you, and simply allow others to do the same. Thanks to guys and girls like this we live in a world that is completely messed up, we dont care about each other, relationships between people are superficial…. If all of us get the heads out of our asses and start to think about life rather than money, work and sex this planet has a chance to become a better place. This strategy will only work with certain situations and still could make you lose good people that are potentially worth committing to.
Chances of meeting people on the same page and staying on the same page with them with this kind of strategy will likely burn one or the other in the end. If they are on the same page then great, you two can be place holders for each other. Fuck this fucked up brainwashing article! Hey , if they want to ride from cock to cock that is their business.
I can kill a guy for sleeping with my beloved one. You can stop trying to persuade others, people are very different. I encourage women I date to date other men for one reason only. I am not hundred percent sure I want to marry A or B. If she focuses all her attention on me and it does not end up in marriage, I will feel guilty.
I encourage her not to put her eggs in one basket. This is complete bs to me! Why would I need to date other people if I want to be with someone?!! This is such shit. This is advice for emotionally unavailable, insecure dickheads and I honestly feel sorry for anybody who treats a woman this way. Man I totally agree! Youre not tough enough to be with her.
This is what separates the winners from the losers. Not in society but in your heart! I have very strong ideas about relationships and love. I guess I take quite a traditional view in that I want to find somebody to share my life with — a partner in crime so to speak who shares everything. I recognise not everybody is the same. It will just make her like YOU less, which jeopardises your chance of ever developing something meaningful wirh her.
I personally think people should focus on one person at a time and give that person nothing less than their full attention if they want a happy, fulfilling relationship and to find love. I entirely agree, Iris, and women who advise men they are dating to see other women are not something I have ever encountered.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on relationships, Iris. You want to be in a relationship where you both feel free to share openly. It also sounds like you value honesty, like real, to the core honesty. Honesty can be confronting. Not many people are up to the challenge of risking it all for the sake of being upfront and honest. The obstacle many guys face is an unwillingness to be vulnerable. Some guys feel alone often, desire connection, and imagine that being liked or wanted by another person is the outcome they need to feel connected.
The problem is not that they want a relationship. Or that they desire to feel connected to a woman. The problem is that the pathway they use to achieve their desires is self-defeating. They want connection yet they hold back, be shady, and fake what is going on for them so they can get the girl, or hold on to the girl. After a few years of this and not every feeling satisfied in the women he meets or the quality of relationships he has in his life, a guy can find himself asking if he is lucky: Intimate connection in relationships is not achieved when both people are in sole possession of the other, but when both can bask in pure appreciation of the other.
Connection with women is not predicated on commitment not saying this is not valuable and important , just that experiencing meaningful connection with women or anyone is predicated on the ability and willingness to be open and vulnerable, to risk it all.
Rather than experiencing honesty as confronting, its about being honest because doing so is one the most independent ways to feel connected and freely expressive with others especially if those other people also value honesty. I guess in the end you are right, encouraging women to date other men, is about confronting jeopardizing losing your dependence on her to be the solution to your feelings of being alone.
J Martinez — thank you for this. J Martinez, I happened to catch your comment, and as a man in his mid thirties who had struggled with relationships in life, this really hit home for me. Thank you for taking the time to put into words what I could not. Is that the society you wish to live in. Is that the society you wish to create, and leave behind. You are attempting to change society in such a way, that women will need to change themselves to fit in.
They will wrongly believe that being promiscuous is the correct path. In this world, as humans, we are to learn to control our insecurities, both men and women, and develop together. You wish step on and bring out the worst in women, in a selfish attempt to feel better about yourself. I pity you, as you were a victim of someone who changed society long ago to what it is now, and are too immature and blind to see reality. You seem to be afraid of your insecurities, and on the contrary to what you claim to say, your the one who is running away from your insecurities.
What kind of authentic, deep relationship can you have when your girlfriend is having sex with other guys? This advice is no better than the Machiavellian Red Pill bullshit floating around on the Internet.
You are no better than PUA. In fact you are the same, just masquerading as something better. Not all men actually most men out there know how to approach and talk to a woman naturally.
There are actually good guys out there with no intention of laying s of women, but just want to learn how to approach and attract one. You blame PUAs tactics as manipulation? Fine, maybe they are a bit. If they like you too, you guys can talk right there on the app. Get to know each other and set up a fuck date. Some people like a variety of choices when it comes to sex, so you can get just that with our app.
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